Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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