I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
