Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
