She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She bit a glass in half.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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