So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
