:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
