i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm both gender and math confused
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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