dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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