Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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