I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
