She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
