it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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