I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
