Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
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