therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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