So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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