Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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