You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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