Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
