If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
