You work out of a Hotel?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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