The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
