Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
