sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
