I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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