i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Life is so much better after having sex.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
