Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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