Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize