it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
