Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
