was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
