are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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