I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
