I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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