I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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