I must be too annoying 4 u.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
