piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
accomplished twins. life is a go
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
