If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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