thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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