I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
