Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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