idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
