The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
