chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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