How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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