u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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