I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I need water and some morals
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
