Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
