He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
