Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
