Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
