I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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