He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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